I’m grieving

Someone, or something, you love is gone, and the world feels different — heavier, quieter, wrong. Maybe it’s raw and new. Maybe it’s been a while, and it’s just hit you again. However it comes, grief can be one of the hardest things a person carries.

If that’s where you are: you’re not alone, and you’re not doing it wrong. There’s no right way to grieve, and no timetable you’re meant to keep to. Whatever you’re feeling — or not feeling — is part of it.

This isn’t something to fix or get over. But you don’t have to carry it entirely on your own.

Real support, whenever you need it

Being gentle with yourself

There’s nothing you have to do here. But if you’re looking for something small to hold onto:

• Let yourself feel it. Grief comes in waves — tears, numbness, anger, exhaustion, even ordinary moments in between. None of it is wrong, and you don’t have to explain or justify any of it.
• Don’t rush yourself, and don’t let anyone else rush you. Grief doesn’t run to a schedule.
• Reach for one person. You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to — sometimes just not being alone is enough.
• Look after the basics when you can: water, food, rest. On the hardest days, getting through the day is enough.

What’s true about grief

You may have heard that grief comes in five tidy stages. In truth, it rarely works like that. The NHS and bereavement organisations such as Cruse are clear that grief isn’t linear and has no fixed timetable — everyone grieves differently, and it can come and go for a long time.

So you’re not behind, and you’re not doing it wrong, however long it’s taking or however it looks.

Missing someone is not a problem to be solved. It’s love, with nowhere to go for now.

You might also need

• I’ve had a terrible day — for the days that feel too heavy
• I need a little encouragement — when you need something gentle to hold
• Browse the library — quiet, gentle help you can come back to